She literally exploded

In my house, Facebook links to stories like this get ignored. I always consider them the equivalent of those emailed jokes you used to get that made you scroll down for ages, promising you that the punch line was worth it (of course, it never was). But I thought it might be fun to create one.



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The Drinking Games – Eleventh Doctor Edition

SJ’s drinkalongs have acquired something of a legendary status, at least in her own corner of the blogosphere. Designed to be communal, real-time events in which people sit down and consume vast quantities of alcohol while celebrating particular recurring traits / themes / dialogue in classic movies, they are usually (I gather) fairly vigorous affairs, in which the shots fly thick and fast in the wake of Matthew Broderick breaking the fourth wall in Ferris Bueller, or Wallace Shawn muttering “inconceivable!”. (If you’re going to try that first one, incidentally, I suggest you water down your drinks first, because otherwise you’re not going to get beyond the ‘Twist and Shout’ scene.)

I am on the other side of the Atlantic to SJ, and the time factor – among other things – has rendered me unable to take part in these affairs. My contribution is thus meant to be a semi-wry commentary on certain televisual idioms, and of course it’s Doctor Who related: a way of talking about all the things that bug you while minimising the acidic cynicism that tends to litter this blog when I’m going off on a rant. There are, I’m sure, various Who-themed drinking games littering the internet, and I deliberately didn’t consult a single one. But here is the first in a series, and for various reasons we are going to start with the most recent incarnation of the Time Lord, and work backwards.




This is far from an exhaustive list, of course, but I don’t think I should include any more. Your liver is far too important to me.

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Death or plumbing

Seriously, I have no idea what was going through Thomas’s head when he came up with this. But never mind. Happy Easter, everyone.


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The Time-lapse of Angels

Children won’t settle? Do what I did two nights ago: download these five Weeping Angel shots from Photobucket, courtesy of Cerebral-Delirium, and set them as desktop wallpaper, timed to change every ten seconds.

Then wait for the boys to go into the study.


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Review: ‘…ish’


I generally don’t do audio story reviews, and this is going to sail completely over the heads of anyone who’s not listened to it, but I am posting it in the vain hope that there may be two or three people out there who get the joke. Here we go, then:


Ish, ish ish ish. Ish. Ish ish. Ish!


“Sausage? SAUSAGE?!?!”


Ish. Ish ish Ish.

All in all, a triumph from Big Fin—.

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Unused Doctor Who Monsters (part four)

If you don’t know your British chocolate, Wispas are bubbly chunks of goodness, first available in 1981 and then brought back a few years ago. Arguably more successful, at least in this form, than their homophonic counterparts.

The second one ought to be self-explanatory.

Monsters_Wispa Monsters_Dahleks

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The Wig Planet

It’s quite gratifying that when I do an image search for ‘Donna Noble Library’, this crops up in the first three lines of results.


(You can read about why Thomas is doing that in this post from August 2012.)

I can’t even remember why we were talking about it, but it probably involved the fact that Emily was cutting my hair last night. “I mustn’t overdo it,” she said. “You’ll look like Donna did when she was attached to that node.”

Anyway -


And while we’re on that, this one seemed obvious.


In for a penny, in for a Pond, as the Seventh Doctor would probably have said.

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“It’s a disguise”

Crumbs. Screen grab from BBC News. (The actual page is currently unavailable, unfortunately; they seem to be having server problems this morning.)


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The Mother’s Day of the Doctor

Mothering Sunday, Doctor Who style.





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Unused Doctor Who Monsters (part three)

Here we go. I’m by no means the first to make this joke, as Google will testify,  but it really was too good an opportunity to miss.

Monsters_Angles Monsters_Wurzels


A significant proportion of my audience is American, and may have never heard of the Wurzels, in which case this might help.

‘Love and Monsters’ is, of course, a story that many of us would like to block from our memories, but you may recall that two of the members of L.Y.N.D.A. sing the song on which this is based, ‘Brand New Key‘, early in the episode. This parody is arguably more successful, certainly on this side of the pond. The cheers it raises in Bristol nightclubs are frankly phenomenal.

The Wurzels are not to be confused, of course, with Worzel Gummidge, a popular scarecrow who starred in a series of novels and, eventually, a TV series, starring this chap.



Worzel Gummidge wasn’t Pertwee’s only TV work during the 70s and 80s. He also provided the voice of Spotty in the memorable Superted, a show about an anthropomorphic teddy bear who can transform into the titular superhero at the mere whisper of his secret magic word. Pertwee’s co-stars included Sheila Steafal, who appeared in Daleks’ Invasion Earth 2150 A.D., Derek Griffiths, a children’s TV veteran who’s turned up in at least one Big Finish production, and Melvyn Hayes, who was married to Wendy Padbury.

Derek Griffiths (who voiced Superted) may have had his heyday years before my children were born, in the likes of Heads and Tails and Play School, but they did get to see him in the CBeebies pantomime late last year, in which he appeared as the Ghost of Christmas Past – that’s him on the left.


They were doing A Christmas Carol, of course, with the role of the spiteful Ebeneezer Scrooge going to Andy Day. Here he is looking rather less than spiteful.

A CBeebies Christmas Carol


Andy can currently be seen in Andy’s Dinosaur Adventures, a show in which he travels back to the Cretaceous era using a grandfather clock that glows with sparkly blue energy, and that appears to be bigger on the inside.


Andy usually ventures into the past in order to obtain a vital artifact for a museum display, to replace the one that got damaged at the beginning of an episode. His encounters with the dinosaurs are wonderful – CBeebies have taken the CGI footage from 1999′s Walking With Dinosaurs and superimposed Andy over the top in order to make the programme more accessible for children. The results are very effective and highly entertaining, if a little conventional – the butterfly effect is completely ignored, and I would love, for example, to see an episode where Andy swats a fly and returns to a future where everyone has lizard tongues and the world is ruled by a despotic Mr Tumble.

1999 is the year the Master messed around with the Eye of Harmony, of course, in a story that marked Paul McGann’s debut.  This is more than likely nothing but coincidence, but it’s telling that when Daniel was playing with my figure collection in late December, during yet another airing of the CBeebies Christmas Carol, he came running into the kitchen clutching five inches of plastic, declaring “Look, Daddy! It’s Ebeneezer Scrooge!”


It takes a while, and the links may be occasionally tenuous, but in the end, everything comes back to Doctor Who.


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